Relationship Design
What if we told you
you can build your ideal relationship
from scratch?
All those times you felt shame for wanting more than one relationship, an open relationship, or even just a monogamous relationship that actually works for you…
You can have what you want.
Let’s design it together.
I founded Intimate Endeavors in part due to the unique relationship structure that I started navigating as I trained to be a sex coach—a triad (otherwise known as a “throuple”). Having two partners who are also partners is an incredibly fulfilling experience, albeit much more rare than the media and greater culture wants us to believe and much harder to meaningfully maintain without strong communication and self-soothing skills.
Polyamory comes in many forms, which is to your benefit! If having one husband, one boyfriend, and one “comet” (a partner you see every once in a while) sounds like your dream, it’s possible for you! If you’d rather have a few comet partners and nothing else, that works too. There are many little things that polyamorous people have to consider in order to make sure they are setting themselves and their partners up for success. Things like: how much do I want to interact with my partner’s other partners? What is considered an emergency worth interrupting a partner’s date night for? How can I handle feeling jealous and triggered by polyamory?
If you’ve found yourself in a situation like I was in, where you’ve been approached and courted by a preexisting couple to be their “third”, there are even more things to consider, as the relationship foundation of a “throuple” is notoriously unstable. If you feel like no one can understand what you’re going through, I am here to support you through this journey and help you build something real and lasting as well as guide you on how to advocate for yourself, a skill that is absolutely necessary for your relationships to work.
If you’re interested in monogamy, but find yourself relying on societal expectations of what that looks like at the expense of your happiness, I want to help you define your ideal monogamous relationship and advocate for it. If you want to get married and still live separately, or are interested in discovering your boundaries around what you consider to be cheating, together we can explore your desires, boundaries, and capacity around monogamy. You deserve to have a relationship your way, not the way you were taught.
Already in a relationship? Looking to change the structure?
There’s a chance that if you’re reading this, you may already be in a committed monogamous relationship. You might be feeling limited by the structure of monogamy and curious about what ethical nonmonogamy could be like for you. And these thoughts and feelings may be bringing you shame—why isn’t your partner alone enough? Why are you so greedy?
Or, maybe your partner has just told you they want to open the relationship or explore polyamory, and you’ve been left confused, hurt, and afraid to lose them. You may be wondering why aren’t you enough for your partner? What did you do wrong? Is nonmonogamy even something you want?
On either side of this coin, there are difficult emotions and conversations ahead. For unprepared and unequipped couples, this can spell the end of a relationship. But for couples who work together, talk through their desires and vulnerabilities, and develop conscious skills related to communication and self-soothing, changing the relationship structure to welcome nonmonogamy can be a soul-bonding experience. Many couples say they’re closer after opening up than ever before—those who do the work.
When you begin working with me, you will learn concrete, actionable skills that will ensure the success of your transition, or the opportunity to discover an alternate path for your relationship.